Infiltrated a socially integrated job. They’re going to find out very quick I’m antisocial, no friends for years
I was living my somewhat mediocre contented life. I accepted and made peace with the fact that I will live and die alone in solitude and I was imbued with a sense of peace with the routines that consisted of my virtual life.
Until UNFORTUNATELY I got a social job.
I (22M) got a job I thought was a nerdy job until I ended up in the interview and realized this is a completely different job.
Because the interview was online, they didn’t see that I was sweating and my legs were shaking. They thought I was a social person because I asked questions and smiled and I am objectively attractive in the visage. Or maybe the nerdiness balanced it out.
My interviewers talked about all the social aspects of my job, public conferences, panels, team events, etc. and they are going to find out how non verbally antisocial I am on day one. Because I have no friends in real life and have not had any for 4 years. My coworkers will not find me relatable because I live my life online versus them attending local events and having social life.
So the past month before I start my job, I have signed up for social events for the first time in years… I think I’ve forgotten how to speak with people.
I’ve made a list of behaviors not to do I did at other jobs and things to do:
- not shake legs or be fidgety
- not scream
- not talk too much about niche interests
- not use bathroom too many times
- make eye contact
- ask questions and try to relate
- have things to do over the weekend to talk about
- anti-anxiety meds before every event
- not repeat movie/song quotes
- not stress eat on the job
- articulate face muscles in a manner to convey mirrored expressions (smile and laugh)
Even though this is a good well paying job, I have been applying to nerdy jobs on the side as a contingency plan that from my degree would require MINIMAL interactions. I DONT LIKE INTERACTING WITH PEOPLE