I am F19 and my BF of 6 months is M21.
We have been very happy together but there is one glaring issue that has come to a head this morning and I feel upset and conflicted. My BF is very much not a planner when it comes other hanging out and doing things, and I like to plan in advance because we both work 5/6 days a week. We had spoken prior about doing something today, and I had been offered a cover shift at work, which I had said no to, because I was under the impression we had plans. We hadn't set a time or any specific activity, but I was excited as I do love spending time with him. He mentioned that he might be offered a cover shift on the same day, and I said to let me know if he was offered it, and I would understand if he wanted to take said shift, as his workplace is struggling and he is trying to get promoted and increase his pay.
There have been issues in the past with me worrying about how much he's working and feeling like he doesn't want to spend time with me when he takes lots of covers, but we spoke about it because he says it feels controlling which I understand, and I've been actively trying to work on it. I struggle with being emotional and overthinking, and rapidly jump to conclusions which aren't true, and this has affected our relationship.
The issue came this morning when I woke up to find he'd already left for work, without telling me he had been offered a shift by his senior manager or that he was going. I was obviously upset, called and texted trying to understand and upset as to why he'd gone to work/why he didn't tell me. I wouldn't have minded but he didn't tell me he was going and I asssumed we had plans and felt really upset. I came down crying to my parents and they agree that him going to work when I thought we had plans isn't fair. He seemed really off the moment I got upset about it. I understand he wants to work but I'm beginning to feel like a convenience rather than someone he wants to see, I feel like I do all the work of arranging plans and texting but he maintains that he loves me and wants to spend time with me. When I asked him how I am supposed to know if we have plans or not, he said that if we both have free time on that day then we do something." I've always planned in advance so that I can have things to look forward to and also plan other things. He seems much more relaxed about not spending time together, and seems to care a lot less about seeing each other regularly. I am quite a needy person and tend to take things to heart quickly and get upset and emotional fast. Is there a way to communicate better and to fix this?
Other than this issue, he is pretty much faultless, I love him very much. I have a lot of insecurities and am much more emotional than he is, which has presented issues. I will take any and all advice, I just really need someone to help me. This is also my first relationship and not his first. I really don't want to break up with him, because we are mostly really happy, but this has really bothered me and it feels disrespectful. AIO?