u/Many-Ad2415

Hello everyone, I'm just looking for some relationship advice because I'm pretty lost on what to do. I'm 20M and I've dated this girl 20F for 3 years and was in the talking stage for about 4 months, and close friends all through out senior year, so I'd honestly say we dated for 4 years. We recently broke up on 4/9, or she broke up with me and I've been heartbroken and confused. A main reason was because it was my fault. I filled her with empty promises and change that I would do better in school and actually try in school, but every time I kept saying I will, I will, I for some reason never did. It wasn't till I eventually lost her that I actually committed to the change. I've been taking school seriously, eating better, going to the gym, dressing nice, and overall found my "drive" something that she had and wanted from me during our relationship. That first week she broke up with me I tried everything, tried to beg for her back and tried to stay friends, but it didn't work. I know now that I should've never begged or only begged once, and just went in no contact and given her that space right away. So that week I tried for her back on 4/20 she asked fully for no contact and she said she didn't see anything anymore for us in the future. She didn't want to stay friends or anything. During that 11 day period I went like 3 days max of not contacting her, then I folded and ended up texting her. It seemed normal for a bit like we were dating again and she apologized for kinda leading me on during that period we started talking again. Then she finally put her foot down and said no contact. Heartbroken I listened, and just prayed everyday that she'd come back. I was doing okay, starting to kind of make peace with it (not really), but I wasn't feeling as bad as I was the first week of the break up. Then I folded again lol, but not really on 4/25 I asked for some of my things back and we ended up meeting on 4/26 to exchange that. We talked for a bit, then she had to go abruptly and she later sent a text saying that she's sorry she had to leave quick, that she hopes I can find peace with myself, that she's proud of me for being strong and making the effort to improve myself, and that she has no doubt I'll do well in the future but that she won't be there for it. I thought that's the last I'd hear from her. We go to the same school and have a lab class together, so 4 days later on 4/30, after I get out of class first I hear her run to catch up to me. She compliments my outfit, and we end up talking for an hour before our next class together. Now I'm mad confused, she ran up to me to talk to me after saying she wanted no contact. Now I'm thinking does she miss me? So I lowkey hit her up at night asking if she wanted to facetime, she said maybe i'm tired but ends up calling me anyways 20 minutes later. The next day I shoot one last shot and asked if she wants to study at a cafe with me, which she ends up coming, and even brings me leftovers of my favorite food that she just had dinner with her parents. This is when I tell myself, I'm not going to contact her unless she contacts me first, which she does the next night at 10:30pm and ends up face timing me. Now even today, she's like texting me normally about some things in her life and I am just so confused. The thing is when we were together in a relationship that's all we really had didn't have many outside friends, so when she broke up with me she got really close to some club friends. Now it has me thinking is she just texting me when she's bored at night and not with her friends to keep or company, or does she actually miss and want to talk to me. My friends think that I should tell her to stop contacting me unless she really wants to work on this relationship because they know me personally I can't just be plain old friends with her, I want to be more. They think I'm just going to get hurt and that she's just texting me at her convenience when she's bored or not on campus around her friends. They believe I'm just being kept around because it's comfortable for her, she knows I'll answer that text/call, but as soon as she finds another guy in her life or moves to a different state for graduate school, I'll just get dropped because she doesn't need me anymore. What do you guys think should I keep talking to her to get back into her life, or should I text her that I can't be friends with her because it's too harmful to me. Main thing is, I'm so in love, I want a future with this girl more than anything, I just don't know what option to choose. Either become friends with her again and try to get her to like me again, or have her really FULLY lose me and if she comes back she comes back.