Hi everyone, I’d appreciate some outside perspective.
I recently got back together with my partner after a breakup. One of the reasons we broke up was around boundaries with female friends, specifically him staying over at a female friend’s place, which made me very uncomfortable.
Now, only a couple of weeks after getting back together, that same female friend from London is planning to visit Spain for a full week. She’ll be working remotely and wants to stay in/near the town where he lives. This would likely mean dinners, evenings together, and possibly staying at his place.
To be fair, he has been open about everything. He’s not hiding it, he’s trying to include me, and he’s said I can stay over/join plans. He is Spanish, and culturally he seems much more relaxed about close male/female friendships, sleepovers, frequent texting, etc., than I am.
But given our history, this feels like a lot very soon. My issue isn’t that I think something is definitely happening. It’s more that the setup feels emotionally uncomfortable, like an ongoing one-on-one dynamic, and I don’t want to feel like I have to be present all week just to feel okay.
I don’t want to control him or forbid friendships, but I also don’t want to ignore a boundary that feels important to me.
What would a healthy boundary look like here?
Ps. They met on a Tinder date I think they kissed, but it's been platonic ever since.