I am in the end of my sophomore year and only now I realized that international studies wasn’t something I liked. I’m fascinated with foreign policy and state security and only now I realized it’s something JSIS doesn’t really offer. Political science seems more in line with what I want but I think it’s too late to switch. I don’t think JSIS is really useful frankly.
I wanted to start this by acknowledging that I made a lot of progress in the past three years. I basically went from a weird, socially maladjusted mess of a high schooler to being a functioning college student. I have a few very close friends who I’m eternally grateful for.
That being said recently my girlfriend of three months broke up with me due to personal stuff. It was the longest and most functional relationship I’ve had at this point.
Since then I decided that I need to make massive and sweeping changes in my life: do more social stuff, get outside, do hobbies that require me to leave my studio apartment. Im tired of feeling behind socially. Im just not happy with where I am. Im tired of hating myself.
I want to make change, I want to be a more social person, I want to go out and have fun more instead of playing games on my laptop inside. But I constantly fave the same mental block “it’s too late” or “everyone else is ahead of me” or “you’re already halfway through college and you have nothing to show for it”
I’m sick and tired of this mindset and i think it’s hampering my ability to grow but i just can’t shake it no matter how hard I try.
My routine basically amounts to conditioner and shampoo and combing it when I get out of bed. Usually I comb it back and then shake it out a bit.