How can I figure out if I’m trans or if I have some sort of internalised misogyny?
For context I am an 18 year old AFAB autistic lesbian.
I wish I was a man, for a lot of reasons. I feel like I’d just be more comfortable like that, and I’ve felt that way all my life. I’ve always worn masculine clothes because it’s what’s comfortable to me sensory wise, as being autistic can make certain textures feel really uncomfortable, I’m also into a lot of media with predominantly male fan bases, which feels isolating as a girl.
I’ve opened up to trans friends and my stepbrother who all think I’m trans, especially when I mention the fact that I’ve had the name picked out for if I ever became a boy since I was 13, but I also think I could just feel out of place because of sexism and homophobia, although I don’t have much experience with dating.
How can I figure out if I’m actually a man or if I just wished I fit in more?
I don’t want to be trans, I have family that wouldn’t accept me fully (but not in danger thankfully) and and I know that life is just so much harder for trans people. In all truth I really don’t want to be trans but I can’t ignore this, and I need to sort it out but again I can’t figure out if it’s misogyny or something or not.
Any advice is appreciated, as I really don’t know where to go from here. Thank you for reading, sorry if this is messy as it’s late at night right now, but I appreciate you reading this.