I have Incredibly low self esteem and I can't take anymore of this
I'm a female, and I've lived with low self esteem for so long, I can barely do simple things in public (taking a picture, eating) without feeling like somebody is judging me or making fun of me.
I'm constantly embarrassed of everything I do, I always talk down on myself in front of others, and I try to appear pleasing to people all the time. I never voice my opinion and I feel like doing so will put me in danger.
Everything is so tiring, It feels like I've tried everything. Working out, getting a new group of friends, new hobbies.. Nothing works, and I can't appreciate myself for anything that I do.
I think I'm ugly, I think I'm too much, I think I'm nothing at all, I think I don't deserve to exist.
I feel like I'm in so much unbearable pain and I'm so lonely. I will not get anywhere in life if I keep staying like this.
That's why I want to kill myself and put myself out of my misery. Everyday feels like a humiliation ritual. I can't do this anymore.