I (21F) had to move out of my previous apartment last year with only 15 days’ notice. I made a post about it, and my middle school best friend (22F who I hadn’t spoken to in years but still followed on social media) offered to help. She invited me to move in with her temporarily without paying rent or utilities while we figured out a better situation.
To do that, she actually broke her lease so we could move into a new apartment together. Her landlord tried to take action a few times, but nothing went through. We ended up in a bigger, nicer place, but it was honestly out of my budget.
We agreed she’d pay about 66% of the rent and I’d cover 34%. Utilities were split 50/50. The deposit was three months’ rent (she paid two, I paid one). I worried she might resent the imbalance, so I offered to take over all the cleaning. She agreed and said she had planned to hire someone anyway due to her disability.
At first, things were great. But after a while, keeping up with all the cleaning became too physically demanding for me, especially working as a server. I asked to adjust responsibilities.
She responded by making a chore chart listing everything she did daily (dishes, cooking, cat care, etc.), which felt passive-aggressive, so I didn’t engage with that directly. I just asked her to help by sweeping occasionally (I only sweep and mop once a week anyway) so I could mop (she can sweep with some pain but can’t mop). However, she would only do it on her own timing, making it hard for me to keep up.
A few months later, I got an opportunity to work as an au pair abroad. She was worried about affording the apartment alone, so I offered to keep paying my share of rent after leaving, but not utilities. That reassured her at the time.
Now her salary was reduced, and she’s struggling financially. I’ve finalized my au pair placement, and since my goal is to save for school, I told her I can’t keep paying rent after I leave.
She didn’t argue, but she’s clearly upset and hasn’t spoken to me in a week.
Now I’m worried she won’t return my deposit or pay me back for my share of the furniture. I can’t afford to buy her out, so I’m leaving my bedroom furniture, but I’m scared I won’t get anything back later.
She’s the only one on the lease and arranged the guarantor, so I don’t have a legal obligation. I’m also paying a full extra month after I leave. Still, she seems to be guilt-tripping me with silence, and I don’t want to help her find a new roommate (there’s a no-subletting clause anyway).
So… AITA?