(25F and 25M in a relationship 3 years) Scared of causing a break up over moving states!!
I'm 25 F but feel like I've been having a mid life crisis!!!
I'm in NY and both my siblings moved down south to South Carolina and Florida and now my parents are beginning to wonder if they should move too and leave me here alone.
I have a bf of 3 years that is supposed to be taking over his family business in NY (we both live with our parents). He makes good money and has been working up to save enough to afford a place for us. The problem is NY is only getting more and more expensive to live in and the winters are BRUTAL! Hence why most of my family is moving (even my relatives). I struggle with severe depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts. The small, boring, expensive town we live in is shit and I've been so tired of it. I visit both my siblings every year and find that I feel way less depressed down south and in a better mood. I LOVE the weather, the beach, and just being OUTSIDE. It's like it brings me a dose of serotonin every time. Then once I go back home I get into a WAVE of depression.
I'm worried that for my own happiness and mental health, it would be better for me to maybe move down south and start a new. My boyfriend has no desire to move because of his family business and the fact that he would be making more money in NY compared to down south. We have talked about this matter multiple times and he has said that if I would be happier moving then he won't stop me BUT he would never move. He has said that he likes the winter and the area we live in and wouldn't like the heat down south. His compromise was that if he we're to take over the business and can afford to, he would get us a vacation home down south that I could visit and be with my family, or that he's perfectly fine with me visiting them whenever I want. BUT this would be something VERY down the line.
Something I just want to add for content is that we struggle to even have time for each other. My bf works mon-sat 6am to 5pm and only has Sundays off. Every time he's off I ask to go out and do things together but he complains and says he wants the day off to rest. It always hurts when it feels like he barely has time for me in his busy schedule. He's constantly over worked. His entire personality is him depressed and exhausted from work. Because he works in a family business he's constantly getting attacked by his father who is always pushing him to be better. All of this effects him AND our relationship constantly!
We both love each other and he does a lot to take care of me and I'm not hoping for this relationship to have an end. I want to be able to get married and settle down in a few years. Part of me feels like I would feel so much better if I did move down south and part of me feels like I would be fine going back and forth from NY to down south to visit my family every year. My Bf does bring me a lot of happiness as well when we find time to be together. I just don't know what to do or think anymore and I'm so scared over this. Has anyone gone through something similar? I'm I just self sabotaging my own happiness?