I need help, but I am also seriously behind
I am in a really frustrating state. I am incredibly burnt out, I am behind on everything because I am not capable of doing it perfectly. I am in school full time and working 24 hours a week, I should be able to do this, but over the past few months I've slowly become worse at everything I used to do "well" in. My grades have dropped from 90+s to 70s or in some cases lower and I am missing several assignments. I am doing okay at work, but I swear I was getting double the amount done a year ago. I am constantly screaming at myself to do more, do better, but I can't and it's killing me. I'm exhausted. Days that I don't need to I'm not getting out of bed. I am so behind I'm going to puke.
It's getting so bad that I am starting to feel suicidal. I won't do anything, but I need to get help. That very well could mean hospitalization at this point. The problem is if I get help, I will end up falling further behind on school and work, and would end up in the same state. It's eating me alive. I can't do this. My fear of being behind is valid which makes it worse, as I can't just say "calm down you're fine" BECAUSE THIS IS NOT FINE.
I just need to know if anyone relates or has any advice.