[24F] I feel so alone in my relationship [27M]
I’m not sure how to describe this. We took a break because things were not looking up. His mental health was truly affecting me.
He wasn’t making a change for himself. It’s just so incredibly hard right now and I’m lonely but I’m not alone if that makes sense. I saw him today and I couldn’t get a read if he was making changes, but he still felt like the same person in good ways and bad ways. He is so gentle and kind with kids, helps me financially. He promised to go to therapy and since then, has and has mentioned it is helping how he looks at his emotions. But then he still isn’t taking care of himself. Just today, he literally had a throw up stain in his car because he just “didn’t want to clean it yet” or some excuse for that and it’s been there for a while. And I tried to talk to him about things that do matter to me like his job or his medical benefits. He doesn’t even know what he has he just “picked it” as he says. It’s not that I want someone to have everything in life 100% together but I want to see someone at least putting in the extra effort for themselves. And if I’m thinking of a future with him and a family, it doesn’t give a feeling that I’ll be safe and probably will struggle in several ways. And not a struggle we would do together I imagine it’ll be me trying to figure out all the planning while he just continues to say “I’m here for you”—the only validation I really get are just words.
I think I just need to talk to him about how I feel but it’s just only words of reassurance which makes my mind only want to believe him. I just can’t tell from the difference if he is really trying or if he is just telling me what I want to hear.