I (19F) am in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend (23M). How often should we be communicating?
I (19F) and my boyfriend (23M) have been together for about a year, a little more than that perhaps. We met in college when I was still going in person, and were fwb for a while before we decided we loved each other and wanted something more serious. I love this man with all my heart and I am very happy with him.
In November of 2025 I had some serious mental health issues, including a self harm relapse, and I stopped going to classes. This tanked my grades and I failed two of my four classes from that semester. My dad had been paying for my college, and upon seeing this, pulled my funds, forcing me to move back home. To be honest, my relationship with my parents isnt great and I’ve worked through a lot in therapy, coming to the conclusion that I’ve been emotionally abused for pretty much my entire childhood, though not intentionally as my parents are not purposely cruel people.
I moved home, five hours away from my college, but my boyfriend and I are still together. I want to be clear aboit a couple of things: I am bipolar one, and have chronic anxiety. They are two separate diagnoses that I have been given in tandem. I am aware I have an anxious attachment style and overthink most of my life. I am not looking for people to tell me to stop overthinking things and get over myself. I have enough people who tell me that IRL.
My question is this: what is the average or expected amount he and I should be texting, calling, and FaceTiming? I get anxious when we haven’t talked much in a day and I’d like to get an idea of how this usually works as I haven’t been in a long distance relationship before. When we were in person, we were together all the time, and I stayed the night 3 or four nights a week. I’m just trying to gauge the general consensus here.
Thank you guys so much in advance for the advice!