This might concern more people from Asia and who knows how it's like to have parents that wish their daughters/sons marry someone who is financially stable and good conditions. Like any other normal person I fell in love but with someone who many can consider "with many baggage". He's divorced with three children that his ex-wife is taking care of. He's Vietnamese but living in Japan and I'm South Korean but living in France. So we are in a long distance relationship situation. He's working in a factory whereas I'm a technical writer, without children or divorce on my file.
Tl;dr We've started as friends that met online through a game, got closer, and eventually feelings caught us. It's been two years we've known each other and we've been in this situationship for awhile because defining was complicated.
He bought the subject of break up/cut contact few days ago because he felt like he was holding me back and he didn't want that in his hands. He said he had nothing good to offer, he will always be financially unstable and my parents would never approve. I thought my heart was getting ripped apart. I hated that his life conditions were preventing a relationship even though he's genuinely the best person I've met. I hated that I wasn't allowed to be in love with him before we get to try to start something. So after many talking and convincing and crying, I held him back to stay and give us a chance.
After that I decided to tell my mum about this because it wasn't some situationship anymore, I didn't want it to be only that anymore. I didn't expect it to go well, I just wanted her to know. I didn't want her to find out too late. So I took the courage and told her. Only to be met with disappointment, betrayal, anger, sadness and all of those emotions. She gave me an ultimatum and said if I wanted to keep trying something with him, to cut all ties with her.
Please keep in mind that she's Asian from a different culture and mindset. Everything she said was valid and especially to protect me. She doesn't want me to keep going down the road that is thorny. But I couldn't believe she would throw an ultimatum like that right off the bat.
I'm in a place where now I have to choose potentially. I do not want to let go of the guy, but I don't want to lose my mum. I've been through a lot and I have finally found this happiness and the courage I mustered to share with my mum ended up bringing a stone on my body. I've been living in France all by myself for years, got out of a 7 years relationship pretty brutally.
I don't know what to do. I don't know if this is something salvageable. I do not want to have to break up with him when he brings out the best of me. I do not want to lose my mum who I love dearly. Please help me. Is it really impossible to be in love with someone very different and with "heavy baggage"?