Long story short - my marriage to my husband has been suffering greatly. We had our first child a few years ago and it has unearthed huge faults in our relationship that we can't get past, and I no longer feel I can tolerate things I've tolerated our entire relationship.
We are trying couples therapy again (first time a year ago was unhelpful and short-lived). But I've come to the realization that I just need to remove myself from what feels like a toxic, heavy, sad relationship. I can't have my child grow up thinking this is what love is.
My husband has BPD. This makes things difficult and I've often had to tiptoe around things with him as he can be emotionally volatile. I care about him and I'm scared if I tell him I want to separate and ask him to move out he will completely implode and blow his life up. He has been so low in years past that he's contemplated suicide. I just want to approach this in the most careful and respectful way possible.