34 yr old life long coffee drinker whos well experienced in every form of "upper" classified narcotic just had my first 2 cups after going a month without almost 12 hrs ago and my heart is still pounding so far out of my chest you'd think I just smoked an ounce of Crack.
Does this kill people? 🤨🤔
Would be cool to apply my effort into online conversations with people that could potentially cross paths with you someday in life too, not everyone wants to live life on their phone... right..? :/
Im almost 35 and sometime around turning 30... all the patterns of my life changed without effort, cause or events to blame... parents and family members that were unconditionally supportive turned against me, absent ones became involved only at opportunitys to sabbatoge me, parentals that never abused me as a child now treat their dogs drastically more humane. Boyfriends with no history in domestic violence all the sudden strangled me, pumbled me, destroyed my apartment... yet I was NEVER prone to such relationships. Dating apps i had periodically used for years and years to meet new people were all the sudden peppering me with hurtful or traumatic experiences.. everyone i socialize with from my favorite friends for years to brand new people literally can't stand me and storm out on me or explode in other ways over the most minor things like if I say I dont understand what they meant etc... or, they died very young and unforseen in their sleep due to various aspects of bad health, or in random horrific accidents :/
Even in professional settings.... 5 neighbors and a room mate witnessed a man punching me multiple times but the responding officer refuses to press charges accusing me of beimg a junky? 🤨 911 operators are talking to their coworkers in the background while a dog is attacking me, a prescription ive refilled for 10 years is accidentally erased by a pharmacist who refuses to help replace it in any way, the family doctor ive waited years for SCREAMS at me with the door open and a waiting room full of people less then 10 feet away as if it offended him I was in distress over this prescription. Strangers I go out of my way to be kind to react to me like im a disgusting slob that will steal their wallet...
I've never bin Mrs popular, or had as many friends as Id like to have...
But this is a tom hanks level of desserted on a tropical island isolation....
This isnt normal, typical or healthy, not for me as an individual, or just any person in general.
The most common solution to what people believe to be curses is changing their patterns to change the outcome they get from the world....
If my patterns didn't change, why did all the patterns around me?