I’m not suicidal, but I wouldn’t mind dying.
I (19m) have a good life, loving family, successful job in sports entertainment media, and 3 little kitties. I’ve been on anti-depressants since 14, slowly upping the dose as my mental health got worse throughout high school, I never attempted to end it all but thought and considered it seriously while in school.
I guess what I have to say is that I don’t want to die, but I wouldn’t mind not being here. When I drive alone, whether it’s rainy, snowy, or clear skies, I drive fast. Too fast. 100~120 mph on the highway. I’ve never been pulled over, but that’s not my worry. If I were to crash, it would at-least be fast and probably painless.
Again, I don’t want to die, but if I happen to crash while going 120 on the freeway, it is what it is.
Help.
I’m one promotion away from my dream job as a sports broadcaster, but I feel grey all the time.
EDIT: Didn’t think I would get one response, got like 20, thanks for the nice words, I might slow down, we will see.