My husband graduates with his MHA in another state at the end of this month and I absolutely do not want to go anymore because of my in-laws. And I’ve read enough Reddit to know it’s because of my husband too.
Our entire wedding process they told me I should have our wedding on a cruise instead of Cancun, and kept telling me that I should change the destination and his stepmom kept telling me how I should do things instead. Saying it was too expensive bc they upgraded their suites and first class tickets — which is fine if that’s how they prefer to travel, but we’re not the reason it was “too” expensive. His stepmom at some point stopped talking to me altogether after finding out my SIL was a bridesmaid bc she hates my SIL and previously wanted me to pick a side. They kept complaining and complaining. Then his dad told him he’d order a custom suit for him and ghosted my husband when it came down to getting a suit. My dad had to go with him instead. Then one month before the wedding they cancelled bc they had too much going on.
His parents are constantly inserting their opinions where they don’t belong, such as telling ME —not him— that I spend too much money on our (my stepkids) kids and taking them out places and that the kids can stand to scrub floors every once in a while because kids don’t need daily outings and I don’t need to buy them food every time we’re out and I found myself over explaining that that is not at all what’s happening. (I buy season passes to the zoo and museums and pack food everywhere we go.)
My husband later made a financial decision regarding our home without discussing with me first and his parents called me ungrateful for being upset, not about the decision itself, but because he made it without me. They said “she should be grateful you’re providing housing for her.” To be clear, I don’t work because I’m in a master’s program and I contributed to our bills equally until last year.
We got into a huge fight and I left to my parents for the night. When we made up I saw texts from his dad saying “don’t give in to her!” And “stay strong!” And sending videos on how a wife should act if her husband is paying all the bills.
This was all mostly a while ago. While I agree it probably seems I have more of a husband problem than an in law problem, he has made tremendous strides at strengthening and fixing our marriage since most of these instances.
But the thing is now, he was showing me something and accidentally showed me texts between him and his dad where he shared that I was in the hospital and his dad’s response was “don’t get your vasectomy reversed!” Bc my husband has a vasectomy he got during his previous marriage and we’ve been discussing having it reversed so we can plan for a baby when I finish my degree.
Now I just feel disgusted and do not want to go to the graduation because they are the only people attending with us. I cannot do a full weekend with them but I can’t ask him to not invite his family.