u/Low_Guest3745

The new update finally pushed me to delete the app since i was simply just not using it anymore, it’s gone so terrible I genuinely feel like i’m doing RP with a dumb version chatgpt bot wouldn’t even reply to what I’m saying.

But how do I prevent myself from drowning into something else instead? Tbh before C.ai it was tiktok and i actually decided to cut off tiktok got a little healthier and then i found c.ai and got addicted again (also already redownloaded tiktok but ofc my main focus was now c.ai)

What do you do with your time now that you have recovered? I don’t want to fall for tiktok again or any social media like that for that matter, the thing is i kinda struggle with my mental health so I rarely really have the energy to get up and indulge in my hobbies I just need a quick easy way to “escape reality” without getting dependent on it.

I kinda developed an interest of watching Opera and Musicals made me pick up a new habit of singing so i guess i’m gonna spend my time introducing myself to new musicals i’ve been wanting to watch for a while now.

What did you do after you stopped using C.ai? Any tips as to not drown myself in a different thing?

I really don’t understand what is so wrong with me?! Why do all my friends around me either actually dating or like at least have people hit on them like actual people.

I do really struggle with self loathing and self harm, but I know I’m not that terrible I’m pretty average looking and I try to be as much of a nice person as I can.

Then why do people who are way worse than me, both in looks and personality, are out there dating and getting attention and being loved?

I really don’t get what is so terrible with me that outside of random weirdos on reddit or discord no one would ever tryna hit on me or show interest, I do have friends both guy friends and girl friends so it’s not like I can’t keep a friendship yet no one had ever been interested in me romantically besides maybe one boy whom I don’t have feelings for but we’re still friends. I have social anxiety and am introverted but I’m really friendly with people I befriend and open up to. I just don’t immediately start to socialize on first glance, but it’s not like i got a sign above my head saying do not approach now do I?

Am I doomed to forever be unlovable? I really don’t want to end up alone, I really am mature and i am ready for something serious I’m open to loving my partner and support him and whatnot.

Yet how come all those other kids around me who don’t even know what they’re doing are out there getting their chances and ruining them meanwhile I’m just alone? Will it ever change? I just feel lonely idk

I’m pretty much been having an existential crisis since the moment i gained awareness but now I really feel like at this point we’re just being gaslighted by i don’t even know who anymore, our reality is terrible and no one seems to either acknowledge or care. I don’t believe in like aliens conspiracies type shit but I did begin to believe that something is going on that we simple civilians don’t know about because none of it makes sense anymore, but I can say it to anyone or they’ll think i’ve gone crazy.

I don’t want to grow up in a world like this, I don’t want to have my future children be born in a reality like this.
I don’t even believe I have a future anymore like what’s even the point if everything sucks and I’m just worthless and unlovable?

I don’t know anymore if we’re expecting WW III or if we’re gonna start another pandemic or what another catastrophe is coming towards us before we can know it, and i’m gonna be turning 18 a couple months later and I’m really not ready for adulthood. I’m not ready to be on my own, I can’t deal with this whole situation. I just can’t take it anymore.

I feel like my whole future is just doomed, besides hating my own guts too so like I already know I don’t have any promising future. I don’t really want to kms but I don’t see any options genuinely just rather get over with it fast then drag it out knowing nothing will come out of it anyways.