I am a recently (7/2025) divorced man (41). I was married for 17 years and together for 22 years. I have 2 children (15M and 13F). The reason for the divorce was that she cheated on me, multiple times over. When I found out, I was crushed to say the least. My whole world came crashing down in that moment. I couldn’t stop shaking, I was throwing up, crying, angry, every single emotion you could think of, I had. I now live on my own and share custody 50/50 with my ex.
I have struggled mightily for over a year now. I’ve seen multiple therapists and taken many anti-depressant’s. They don’t help. I am starting to focus a lot on me and what I like to do for fun, and that does help.
For some reason, I still want to know where she is, what she’s doing, who she is with, etc. I have no idea why and I really don’t want to know what she’s doing. What is wrong with me? Why do I want to know these things? She destroyed my life and I absolutely want nothing to do with her, suffice to say I basically hate her. I keep yelling at myself “WHY DO YOU CARE?!?!” Yet for some reason, in the pit of my stomach, I want to know. Whoever she wants to be with is none of my business and I don’t want it to be my business. My head is telling me not to care, but my stomach is telling me otherwise. I want to only have what’s in my head and not this feeling in my stomach.
What is wrong with me?
Sorry for the long post. At the very least, writing this helped get things out more. Thank you all.