Rant about rumors with a supervisor
Sorry if this is too long and ramble-y, but I've been dealing with this situation for months now and HR has been a total dud.
It started late last year when we got a new supervisor for our team (we have four teams in the department, each one to a different shift) and he's a pretty shy and socially awkward guy. Having once been deeply socially anxious myself (and the fact he's my supervisor lol), I introduced myself to him and would answer any questions he had. I suppose he found comfort in that since my workplace isn't very friendly, when I first started it took a month for anyone to actually introduce themselves to me and my other coworker who started on the same day. Over time, I noticed he would seek me out for questions or would often sit near me at meetings, I didn't think much of it because he had a wife who he had been with for over a decade.
For context, I do not work a desk job, I work in pharmaceutical quality control so we can be in one of our several labs, the manufacturing suites, or our desk - so it's incredibly easy for things to happen without your knowledge, especially in a workplace with poor communication.
Unbeknownst to me, he would change the schedule to make my workload less physically demanding (I would be going inside the manufacturing suites less frequently), and also would frequently bring my name up when I am not physically present or nearby. The second half of the week, a different shift, is known for having many sexual harassment claims against them and so I have always been careful to distance myself as politely as possible. Blah blah blah, eventually a coworker of mine took me aside and told me that people thought I was sleeping with my supervisor to get out of going into the suites (not for a higher review, for pay, or a promotion????) and that our inappropriate relationship was giving me an unfair advantage. SO naturally, I wanted to vomit not only because I am not in anyway attracted to my supervisor but I have a very loving long-term boyfriend. Thankfully, my partner has been incredibly supportive despite my declining and degrading mental health.
I went to HR, the person who started the rumor has at least 3 confirmed HR cases against him for sexual harassment in varying degrees, I feel like this is important to note because HR ultimately did not take my side. I also do blame my supervisor a bit for this because in his HR meeting concerning the issue, he only brought up the favoritism not the sex allegations so I felt like that undermined my interview when I brought names and comments being said about me. HR had to reinterview him and several other people I had given them the names for who supported my claims but when they interviewed the person who started the rumor, "he promised he did not start or say anything about me and my supervisor having sex and if he heard it, he would stop said rumors" therefore, he's completely innocent. I could not believe the HR rep would send me an email with that in writing because it's objectively hilarious and the HR case died right there.
The rumors didn't though, in fact, they got worse because my supervisor decided to leave very shortly after the HR case, which unfortunately does not look good on me. Now the rumors had evolved to "did she not want him anymore? did she end things with him and he couldn't handle it so he left?".
I'm not sure if this matters, but another component of this that really bothered me is that in these rumors, I'm always the villain despite the fact he was my supervisor? Like people are sad for him because I supposedly used him? Manipulated him? I often hear that "he liked me more than I liked him"? Again, coming from people pushing 40+, I really didn't expect that kinda behavior but maybe that was me being too optimistic. Like not only do people think I'm desperate enough to sleep with someone for essentially minimal gain, but people also think I'm the bad person for not wanting him in this hypothetical scenario.
Incredibly juvenile behavior coming from 40 year olds but even as recently as two weeks ago, people have still been asking if it's true if we slept together, if I miss him because it made my job easier, etc. etc. etc. I also know from coworkers, that other supervisors were aware of these conversations and even partook in some, so I guess it's been really weighing me down and completely nuked my productivity. Which is unfortunate because I still get asked to do a lot of extra tasks on top of my regular workload, so it just feels like the work I do goes completely unseen and unappreciated since people think I have such low self-respect I would sleep with a boss to get out of a work task. I really don't know how to go from here, I thought months in the rumors would stop and maybe it would stop bothering me so much. I've been trying desperately to find a new job without sacrificing too much pay, but the job market has been abysmal for us (and everyone else lol). I had to go on mental health leave at some point because I had also drastically injured myself at work around the same time and the two together made me start to act in some concerning ways so my therapist pulled me for three months.
HR doesn't feel like an option at all, the supervisors have acknowledged the rumor to my face since and one of them told me I just have to keep pushing and it's in the past? I don't feel comfortable talking to almost any of my coworkers but I try really hard to keep a friendly and polite demeanor when possible. It's gotten to the point where my boyfriend has offered to support me and our bills if I quit without another job lined up, which is really uncharacteristic for me and would be a massive toll since I do make a high salary.
I've always had an intense anxiety disorder but a lot of old ticks started to show up with this job and I wish I was the type of person that could just be "well I didn't do that so I don't care if people talk about me". I do care that people think so little of me and feel the need to constantly talk about me, even after he's left. I have no idea what else to do but quit since it has started to impact my life outside of work, which is pretty great, I have a lot of hobbies and I've been traveling more. Lately, the anxiety has really been settling in though and I've been struggling to engage with my friends and things in my life that typically bring me joy or calm me down.
I guess I am just wondering if anyone else has dealt with a situation like this and what their experiences were like? I truly don't know what else to do but quit but I am trying to hold out until I find another job, but it's looking less and less favorable. Thank you so much for reading all of this complaining and whining haha, I don't want to keep burdening my friends with these feelings.