u/LowFlower6956

Pre baby: 125 lbs, 5’3”, barely any muscle

Post partum peak: 160lb. Was very hungry breastfeeding

20 months PP: 137 lbs!

It was honestly mostly diet. I went to the gym for like 4 months, and did strength training but hurt my back. So while I healed I honestly did very little exercise besides running around after my baby.

What has been working has been eating very mindfully. I don’t count calories bc my executive function is all taken up by work and toddler care. I do half a plate of plants, a quarter protein and a quarter carbs. I still eat dessert and I still eat a big plate of pasta pretty regularly. But I’m mostly balanced.

I’m sure I could have gotten here faster if I had strength trained to increase my BMR or counted calories but honestly I just didn’t want to do any of that right now. Between physical therapy and eating mostly well most of the time, I am at my max mental energy devoted to weight loss.

Trying to keep this up to lose more fat around my waist!

A year of weddings spanning formal, black tie, cocktail, ethnic, beach, etc. have to find a dress for each. A dress that works for my boobs. Mission impossible for one dress but for so many occasions? Oh god.

And then I go to the wedding and see everyone look beautiful while I am wearing a sack cloth shaped dress or something with a blazer on top in the heat.

Sad

I have always been a classic high achiever -Ivy League schools, MBA from a top program. I always wanted to work in non-profits/international development bc I’ve got a huge bleeding heart and had all these ideas to change the world and honestly the connections from my education that would help.

But I quickly realized that I wanted a family and to live where I grew up in $$$ CA, and was not marrying rich. So I chose to get my MBA and work in tech on the business side instead. At first in FAANG and now at a smaller public company. And it’s fine - it’s remote, pays well, is mostly chill. But I’m not successful per se. I am mid level, and view it as something that pays the bills, not something I am excited to work extra hard at.

So I always feel this envy when I look at my peers who are crushing it at work - regardless of their field. I wish I loved working in a corporation, but I don’t. I wish I had the financial independence to take a big career risk, but I don’t. What I do have is a flexible job that enables me to spend time with my wonderful family and kids. And for most people that’s a dream and I get that. But as a go-getter, I can’t help but wonder about the road not taken.

Edit: there are so many wonderful comments and I’m grateful to you all for making me feel less alone! To the points about broadening the definition of success… one of my mentors would say, he chose to have an amazing life and above average career, rather than an amazing career with just an above average life. And that is the path I have chosen. I would regret not having a beautiful marriage and family life. I actually quit my job to have 18 months off with my newborn bc that mattered to me more than work. But that doesn’t mean the rest of my identity just fell away. Aren’t moms allowed to have big non-family dreams too? And on some level, I feel a bit annoyed that the exhortation to expand our definition of success can have the real consequence of fewer women in positions of power.

I am mostly comfortable with the path I’ve chosen and think a lot about Nancy Pelosi starting her political career when her kids were older- you’re all right, there is more time. I just can’t get my ego to chill tf out sometimes!