I (26) was born and raised in INC. Handog. Buong side ng father ko, pati extended family, sobrang active.
A couple of years ago, I moved out because of family toxicity. Hindi ko na talaga kaya. Around that time, kumuha ako ng transfer to another locale, pero hindi ko na siya sinubmit. Hinayaan ko na lang mag-expire. It was the closest thing I could do to leaving quietly without making a big scene. Walang nakakaalam bukod sa akin, sa bf ko, at sa kapatid ko.
Matagal ko naman na gusto umalis, so I was ready for whatever fallout na mangyayari with my family. Ang hindi ko lang talaga kayang i-handle is yung malaman ng lola ko. Siya nagpalaki sa akin, and matanda na siya. As in yun lang yung one thing na gusto ko iwasan as long as she’s alive, kahit ako na yung mag-adjust.
Tapos last week, pinatawag siya ng ministro sa lokal nila. Doon niya nalaman na tinunton daw yung transfer ko from years ago and confirmed na hindi ko siya sinubmit. Imagine that. Ilang years na akong tahimik, pero hinanap pa rin.
I admit, nag-panic ako so I lied. Sinabi ko na nag-transfer ako sa current residence ko and sumasamba ako doon. I even deactivated my main Facebook account para hindi niya ako ma-message or ma-pressure into explaining.
Akala ko doon matatapos. Hindi pala.
Ngayon nalaman ko na kumalat na sa family na hindi na ako sumasamba. As in buong side na nila alam na.
Nakaka-PUTANG INA.
What gets me the most is that dinamay pa nila yung lola ko, knowing full well how old she is and how much this would affect her. Yun yung isang bagay na sinubukan kong protektahan, pero dun pa talaga tumama.
I don’t regret leaving. Not even a bit. If anything, this just proves to me na tama yung decision ko.
Pero ang hirap lang tanggapin na kahit anong ingat mo, kahit gaano ka ka-quiet umalis, hindi pa rin nila kayang i-respeto yun. May collateral damage pa rin, and it hits the exact person you were trying to shield.
PUTANG INA NIYO, KULTO!