Im constantly hating myself because i let my fear and anxiety and other peoples opinions effect my choices
I started testosterone and im happy and loving it but i fucking hate myself constantly, not because of any changes but BECAUSE im happy and know it was the right choice
I wish i had started sooner i knew what i wanted at 18, i could have started but i didnt because i was so fucking scared and worried people would be right and i would regret it and go back but i couldnt because of the permanent changes, to just wait a little longer and it kills me to think i could have been so much further along with my transition had i not allowed these worries to consume me
I could have already been 3-4 years on T and i could have already recovered from top surgery but instead im 22 (turning 23) and feeling like im only now starting to live life how i want to
i wasted so much fucking time for nothing