u/Low-Sun6824

I need to say this because I’m sure there is someone out there in a long term relationship who is confused on whether or not to stay with their bf/gf but in their heart knows they are not the one for them. I was with my ex boyfriend for almost 5.5 years and honestly he was a great guy. He checked all the boxes of being kind, caring, treated me well, my friends/family liked him, and was just a good person. Which is why this was so hard to do. But I had a really hard time realizing that someone could be a great person and still not be YOUR person. There were always things about him that in my gut I felt like were off. I don’t know how to explain it exactly, but it was like if we had kids I knew that it was going to be a bigger responsibility on me to discipline our kids. Or when it came to conflicts with his family, I was going to take the hit because I couldn’t see him really standing up for me in the way I would need. If I needed advice on something, my first call was to my brother not him. But when you’ve been with someone for so long, you try to convince that voice in your head that you can get over it and it’ll be okay. And it does make me sad to say that it took me 6 months to finally pull the plug, which wasn’t fair to him because I was struggling with my feelings. He was also my first serious relationship and I thought that he was it for me, and I really only started doubting it in our last year. I just didn’t want to give up hope and was trying so hard to make it work. But now that I’m out of it, I am so so thankful. He was a great guy but not my great guy. And honestly, just because a guy is nice and treats you well shouldn’t make you feel obligated to be with them if things feel wrong… that should be the bare minimum. Now I’m with someone else who literally is my perfect match and I’ve never been so happy. He is literally everything I’ve ever wanted in a partner and makes me feel safe and secure in a different way. I never really realized how much I was compromising things I wanted in my past relationship until I started dating this man. But anyways I just wanted to make this post because I know there are people out there who were like me struggling to end a relationship where nothing seemed wrong on paper, but something was wrong in your gut. And my advice is listen to it because life js short and there are so many people in this world that could be that dream partner you’ve always wanted! Don’t let the sunk cost fallacy get to you!