I need opinions on the situation I'm in right now.
I've been living with the in-laws for over a year now, and have a 9 month old son.
I hate it, my partner knows this but we got ourselves in this situation so I can't blame anyone but ourselves.
The other day my FIL had my son on the kitchen island and my son ended up falling sideways and nearly smashing his face on the edge of the marble counter, and ended up upside down between the chair and the counter before my FIL caught him.
I witnessed it all and took my son straight off him. FIL was very nonchalant about it and acted like he had control of the situation.
I felt physically sick watching it unfold, so spoke with my partner straight away and said my son is not to be up on the kitchen counter anymore it's not the place for babies to begin with.
He agreed.
The next day, my husband had our son while I was cooking and held him standing on the kitchen island for a few minutes before FIL put his arms out for him. My husband gave our LO to him and said please hold onto him properly this time, FIL said "Oh, don't you start" he kept him on the counter so I turned around and said please don't have him on the counter, I don't want him up there anymore.
FIL threw a fit and started saying that my husband just had him there and as soon as he took him I told him he couldn't be up there.
I said well husband shouldn't have him there either, but that's his father so that's up to him but we don't want him up there. He got upset and started arguing and passed my son back to my husband. And stormed off shouting. So I shouted back he's our son if we don't want him up there then he isn't going up there.
Since then he hasn't spoken to me but continues to say hi to my son when we walk by etc.
Husband said FIL was in the wrong but I shouldn't have argued back with the last statement about him being our son.
The reason I said that is because from day one FIL has always made it clear the he doesn't agree with our boundaries, and sometimes disrespected them.
For example, when our son was first born we asked them to wash hands before holding and touching his hands etc. FIL would roll his eyes and say they're clean or say he'd just washed them instead of going and doing it.
We said the baby isn't to be around the two big dogs they have, and he took him to them to sniff multiple times and laughed when we said not to do it.
Just the other day he picked up his dog poop in the garden and came in and tried to take our son without washing his hands and my husband told him off and he answered back that his hand didn't touch the poop.
I feel like that is why this time I snapped back with the "he's our son" remark as he needs to realise we are in charge of our son's boundaries.
Am I in anyway in the wrong? Should I apologise for anything?
Husband said he would just to keep the peace but I don't think I'm going to apologise for advocating for my son.
I need outsiders opinions.