u/LordTalesin

So many of the posts I've seen on here, and my personal experience supports that this is true. The more we avoid the unpleasantness of life, the hard choices, the uncomfortable situations, the possible rejections, and the things we fear, the harder and harder our life becomes.

I was a shut-in for years and didn't have a job. I avoided things to the point of being diagnosed GAD. Well, eventually life kicked down the door and took everything from me. I ended up homeless for almost 2 years, and I will admit and others agree, that is a really hard life.

It was only when I started to make the hard choices, to do the hard things, the impossible things, the stuff that scared me, that I was able to begin truly living a life that others would consider worth living. The fear was great, the desperation greater, and my determination greatest of all.

The thing is, even after I started to live the "easy life" the hard choices kept coming. They never stop, and life never really becomes easy, but it gets easier. The hard choices never become easy, but the do become less hard.

It wasn't until I realized the going over potential arguments in my head for hours was my anxiety circuit that I was able to make progress on this problem. It takes time, but I can stop it within 5 minutes of starting now.

The trick is to acknowledge what is happening as it is happening, and then gently nudge the brain onto something stimulating but different. "Ok brain, but let's think about this instead..." Yes, I talk to my brain as a separate entity, because it largely is. It certainly isn't me.

Hope this helps someone.

I found this quote one day, and then found this poster on Amazon. I hold this close to remind myself that I have choices in this life. So I choose.

This happens so many times a day I couldn't even guess at a number

When working memory runs out while explaining a long thought process.

Every single time. Every one. Work, home, gaming, reading, eating, watching a movie.

This has become a recurring problem for me. In fact, I am posting this right now instead of eating, because this is far more interesting.

Please send help...

Chemo this week has been rough. Only 3 hours of sleep for 5 days straight and nausea on top. But I'm still in this fight. Life may knock me down, but if I'm still breathing, I'm sure going to rise again.

Life is hard guys and gals. Life is the most relentless and brutal opponent we'll ever face. And we are destined to lose eventually. That's just how it is.

If there's any one important lesson I've learned that I think worth sharing it is this. We, those who are here, often spend so much time ruminating on the past and worrying about the future, that we lose sight of what is right in front of us. None of us are promised tomorrow, we only have this day, this time right now.

I've been down those rabbit holes of loathing and self-recrimination. I've hated myself more than any other person on the planet. I've wanted to die so intensely that I felt I could manifest it if I thought hard enough. In short, I have suffered, as so many of you also do.

I've lived, loved and suffered. Through Bipolar diagnosis at 42 after an incredibly destructive mania, through abandonment by my ex-wife, through homelessness for almost 2 years, through discovering I'm ADHD at 44, and now at 45 I have colon cancer and am getting chemotherapy. Life can really f'n suck sometimes. The chemo is worse than I thought it would be, because even though I knew it was going to be bad, there is a world of difference between knowing a thing, and living a thing.

What I want to say is this. Today, I feel fantastic. Yesterday, I felt like absolute doggy dookie. I had only gotten 3 hours of sleep for 5 days in a row, thanks chemo, and it was terrible. Today, I got 9 hours between sleep and a nap yesterday and I feel fantastic. Sure, on the days life sucks it's hard to stay upbeat, but that is when it's most important.

I'm not saying to be toxically positive, do please acknowledge your situation, but also acknowledge that you can change how you view it and how you feel about it. For me, chemo is a necessary step if I am going to live and experience as much as I can of this world. Temporary suffering is a price I am happy to pay to do that. It's all in how I view it.

Take care of yourselves, but most importantly, keep in mind that this life is temporary, nothing lasts forever, and that goes for both good and bad. The bad times will end, and so will the good.

So endure when you must, and enjoy life fully when you can. Because none of us are promised tomorrow, only today.

Diagnosed in August last year, and had the surgery in February. Cancer had spread to the surrounding lymph nodes and I've started chemotherapy. I've been through one treatment so far, and it kind of sucked. Monday is treatment number two. I have at least five more treatments left but likely eleven, so this is going to be a marathon.

The things that I've learned here, and elsewhere have helped prepare me for this challenge and I'm feeling good today. Had an idea for this while looking at a poster I have and wanted to share. I don't know what's going to happen, no one does, but I do know that I'm going to fight, and continue fighting, Because I choose to.

Big thanks to everyone here.