u/LillthOfBabylon

The women-are-wonderful effect is the tendency to evaluate women more positively than men overall, especially by associating women with traits like warmth, kindness, nurturance, empathy, helpfulness, and moral goodness. If someone truly believed women generally these things, then being decent to women would feel like the natural response to that belief. You would think, “Women are people worth treating well”.

However, that’s not what’s seen when the topic of “Women Are Wonderful bias” gets brought up in this subreddit as an origin story to the redpill. It’s usually hoping that romance or sex as the end result. You do not have to want someone romantically to be respectful. You do not have to be sexually interested in someone to be considerate. You do not have to expect a relationship to be a decent person. If a guy felt women are wonderful, he should want to show most women kindness, generosity, etc, not just the women they find attractive.

Hence, I coined the “women should be wonderful to me” bias. It’s about wanting stereotypical feminine qualities for one’s own benefit.

The attitude is basically:

• “Women are nurturing, so they should nurture me.”
• “Women are patient, so they should tolerate my flaws, excuses, and lack of effort.”
• “Women are empathetic, so they should understand me, forgive me, and accommodate me.”

I’ve heard men say their “women are wonderful” bias started with their mothers, and honestly, I think that explains part of the problem. Because in many cases, they were not raised to admire women as full human beings. They were raised experiencing women, especially mothers, as sources of comfort, forgiveness, patience, praise, nurturing, and emotional labor. So they are not really trying to “bask in the radiance of these perfect beings,” as the bias might imply. They want the emotional benefits of a mother in a romantic partner. Someone who gives, gives, gives, and expects very little in return. Someone who nurtures them, forgives them, understands them, accommodates them, praises basic effort, and keeps loving them even when they are difficult.

Also, there is a stage of maturity where you are supposed to learn that you do good things because they are the right thing to do, not because you expect payment for them. Now, expecting mutual good treatment is fair. If you are kind to someone, it is reasonable to want kindness back. If you respect someone, it is reasonable to want respect back. If you show consideration, it is reasonable to want consideration in return. Expecting romance and sex as a reward is NOT REASONABLE.

So it seems the bitter (red)pill to swallow wasnt that women can be bad people like men.... it's women arent inherently responsible for soothing, rewarding, and validating men...like men aren't.

This is based on what I’ve seen from guys talk about how they can’t filter, they can’t vet for compatibility, etc or else they are left with nothing.

Women generally care about some combination of personality, looks, and money. Different women weigh those things differently. Some women care more about personality. Some care more about looks. Some care more about money or status.

A common problem I see with men complaining they have no options is that they don’t see the value of being agreeable unless it guarantees them sex or romance. A woman who cares more about character is not interested in a guy with that type of attitude. They typically want a man who is pleasant, considerate, and respectful as a default, not part of a transaction. Then these same men usually don’t want “gold diggers,” so they don’t want women who prioritize money or resources either. That leaves women who prioritize looks and raw sexual attraction more heavily. But if those women don’t find him attractive enough, he gets filtered out there too.

So what is he left with?

Very little.

And the few women left may not be women who genuinely like him. They may be women who see desperation and know how to use it. These women don’t need thousands of men begging for them at a moments notice. They just need desperate men who wants access badly enough to ignore her disrespect. That’s where the “jester” dynamic comes from. Some women enjoy the validation. Some enjoy the power dynamic. Some enjoy watching a man perform for attention he was never going to get. Some will take the free meal, the compliments, the attention, the ego boost, and then leave. Not because “all women are like that,” but because desperation attracts people who exploit desperation.

This is a big reason why women will tell a man that it’s mainly his personality that’s making dating hard for him. If your only options are terrible women, shallow women, or women who make you feel like a jester, that does not prove women are terrible. It might mean other women already opted out his dating pool.

You know women who complain about how "men aint shit" and the response should be, as Katt Williams as said, "No, the men YOU fuck with aint shit and YOU should figure out why you only know aint shit men"? Same thing to men!

For some reason, this sub thinks it's a bad thing to actually be picky or to have any semblance of a standard. The problem is these guys do want certain women, they just pretend those women are the majority of women.

It's fine you gravitate towards chicks who think their vaginas, but admit it. Why are we pretending most women are going around fucking all the hot guys she sees? Atleast in my country, that's not the norm in America. But that is the norm for horny party girl. What's wrong with admitting you like horny party girls? "But I'll take anyone!" even if she's not interested in touching your penis any time soon? Because that seems to be a massive deal breaker in this sub!

Similar when complaining about how "all women" are stuck up, entitled, and take men for granted because she has dozens of guys waiting in her DMs for a chance. Assuming this isn't hyperbole, a woman like that sounds extremely popular, most likely very very attractive. Of course alot of popular girls will act like that. She knows she's THAT BITCH, so why act shocked she's acts haughty? It's fine if you want a haughty hottie. It's fine to be frustrated with the flaws your type brings....but why act like that's the fault of other women? You dont want those other women.

You can like mean girls, good girls, goth girls, prep girls, hot girls, social girls, etc. JUST OWN IT.