I am like pretty sure I'm non binary
So it's kinda late but i cannot stop thinking about this cuz it's honestly really exciting to me. I'm mtf and i have identified with womanhood for quite sometime and I've been on hormones for three years now and i absolutely love them. But i recently reconnected with an old trans friend and we've been hanging out quite a lot lately. They told me that they're non binary now and i support that onviously. But the way they have talked about feeling more masculine than feminine despite staying on estrogen. I didn't even know that was a thing until recently tbh. And i kinda realized that i have always felt that way.
I'm still myself, i love girly things, but I also love feeling masculine and having people refer to me with masculine titles. I love the idea of being this sort of canvas that i can paint in any way that i want. Being both a boy and a girl. I love masculinity and i love feminity. And I love being neither. It feels so liberating to accept this tbh. I still plan to stay on estrogen, but i also plan to make myself to more masculine in other ways, like hair and how i dress and maybe even cologne. These are new feelings but i feel that they're very real.
I love having this power as well, someone can try to be transphobic to me and it won't matter cuz i am a boy and i am a girl. It doesn't matter to me. I just love being beyond gender. I don't know if any of this is appropriate language tbh, I don't know much about being non binary but i do know it's how i feel. Just thought i would share. Ialso wonder what steps i could take to feel more like myself? Thanks for reading