My life has no meaning
My family is strict. Has always been i fucked my cousin, and things went wrong, i told my sis, my mum not who he is. And btw he is 3rd and i did nit know him from childhood. All the healing i became paranoid and i told my other cousins cause he is kinda creepy now that i know Him and didnt hang out out if fear again and i liked him. I did what others want for me again. I havent slept for 3 months, i was healed, i felt like a woman, had a routine social skills, has Jesus, confidence.i felt confy kn my body after 2016. After yeara of work and i am paraboid again, narcisistic, i am so afraid and i did it all by myself. My mum knows tge name, i told my other cousin that he wanted me and i said not, for no reason. He told other girl we were fucking. I ruined my life forever. I posted on mental health support more details. I had for the first time consiousness and i isolated me , was obsessed with him and stopped going iut. My body is mumb, i have dissociatiin again that God healed me from and everything feels unreal. Btw i didnt have sex before I am paranoid again.. i should have told anyone about it. I knew i was alwyas shy and paranoid. I dont feel like myself,i have severe anxiety and my spirit left. What shoukd i tell him he has nudes with my and knows my uncle. I cant sleep. I ruined me. I am afraid to have sex again. Feel lile a dead body and i dont have a mind i cant think my family says i am fine but i am not. They also bit me 7 times cause i am ungrateful I dont know whats real on not