Is this love or lust?
Hi all my (F27) bf (M33) been together for more than 2 years. I communicated to him that I wanted to stop premarital sex. I dont know what gotten into me but it was always in the back of my mind that it wasnt right and should be save in marriage. He said that he couldn’t do it. I am sad because he’s even willing to end the relationship because he can’t do it. He said that’s normal couples do. Our relationship feels transactional now because he is not really investing in us, and I am mostly the one who initiate how to close the gap and always ask for clarity and even said that I want to settle with him. But now our relationship feels shaky because he stopped helping for my rent because he said he feel used. He would send me money and I insist not to but he did but after I told him recently that I will not having sex with him before marriage, he ask the money back. He asked the money back everytime I wanted to break up with him. He is a good person, he took me once a year for out of the country travel. He helped me with the rent, he sends me food. But it always felt like there’d hesitation because I know that he could do more (am I crazy to feel this?). He would fly from europe to philippines 4 times a year but now he will cancel the flight because I said that I will stop “doing it” with him, we can still have physical intimacy without it tho. And I want to save this relationship, I just dont want to feel used, and he also dont want to feel used with money, am I crazy for asking to invest in me more or maybe plan for us the future, clarity and maybe include me for his planning. 2 years and it felt like I am begging for a bare minimum yet I still have to praise him everytime.
Harsh comment is fine, maybe I am also expecting so much, because I know he can do more, we would fly eveywhere if he wants to, he likes flying, going airport to airport.