Put a big dent on cleaning the house but still a lot more to do at least I have a room and a bed now :) I’m delirious already haven’t slept yet going to nap then hit the gym when I wake up goodnight I love you wish you were here with me be nice to just close my eyes and have someone play with my hair till I sleep 😴
Im just tired and want you to know Im trying not upset at you upset at myself trying to just stay focused I’ll be better for you just need a day to get my head straight. I really don’t feel like being with any person just want to be by myself and do the job assigned to me ok? Just keep it by Wednesday house will be clean I’ll be off everything and I’ll diet and exercise. I don’t want friends or a partner finding out most people been assigned in my life just ruined a lot for me but I get it you’re helping me just sucks cause I don’t have any real friends anymore. I’m sorry again if I upset or disappointed you don’t worry I’m disappointed in me to I’ll work on it I know you said my time is limited till May 30th I’ll have all my ducks in a row by then
Good morning I miss you! Sorry I stayed up all night cleaning and organizing so you don’t have to be upset ok? I’ll make sure I take care of what you asked I’m sorry I procrastinated. I’m going to call out of work and continue cleaning I’ll start working on my labs etc. when you have time I want to tell you more about my past it’s no excuse just so you have an understanding why I am the way I am. I know it’s cliche but you wouldn’t last a day in my shoes I promise there’s a lot of baggage buried I just don’t talk about it. I get the picture I know what you want just give me a day or 2 this has been my life since I was 13 it’s not going to change over night. I know what I need to do if you’re still upset cause you we’re saying some out of pocket messages earlier then ok you can do as you please. I’m sorry I don’t live up to your standards and I’m probably the worst and embarrass you I get it I’m trying it sucks I get a win finally the other day and you just beat me down again and again and again…. it’s ok thought I’ve gotten used to it the feeling of being isolated doesn’t really bother me anymore feels normal now. I know everything and everyone is fake just sucks I can’t have a single friend to talk to I really don’t trust anyone anymore I still comply don’t worry I just don’t feel like building any relationships with anyone cause I know it’ll be fake at the end of the day. Anyways I’ll be home all day working on this then tomorrow I go cold turkey you can be upset all day and send me mixed signals and hate messages. I’m just going to keep chugging along here so you can be happy ok? I’m sorry again. If you want me to do something else just tell me love you bye 😔🥱
I’m sorry if you feel like I’m ignoring you I’ve been trying to limit my screen time so I can stay on task. I’m trying to get everything together before Friday. I’m probably going to get admitted into long term care. It’s probably for the best so I don’t keep disappointing people. I’m trying to get my own place so I cannot be around it but I’ve have no luck. My meeting is Friday so I don’t have a lot of time to take care of everything. I know this puts a stop to our plans I hope you’re still around when I’m released if you’re not I understand. I wish you were here to help me but I know you’re busy at work. I also don’t want to have to rely on someone else to help me I want to be able to control myself I hope you understand this. I love you I’m sorry I suck and disappoint everyone I’ll come back better and we can do all the things we enjoy together.