Hi, my name is Crow and im one of the alter of the system typing this message… The title says it all but let me specify that I do not hate the others I share this body with, nor Am I trying to commit whatever is the equivalent of murder or suicide for us alter.
It’s just that it’s often loud in the headspace and I feel like I don’t have much freedom. I feel frustrated by the limitation I feel like I have and I don’t have much privacy. I also feel like I cause issues for the others, like how I would still like for the body to be male but our Host feels like a woman and would like to transitions.
I also don’t feel like I belong to this environnement and this community. No offense but all the terms roles we have are weird, the shenanigans that happens in the headspace feels like forced drama to make our lives more interesting than it really is and I just want to be a fucking normal mind controling a body without a bunch of thoughts that im not even sure if they are my own… I feel like I often hurts the other alters because of the thoughts I have (including this post im making), I have fits of uncrontroled anger that I don’t know how to temper well in a plural system environement and I feel like it would be better if I was gone for everyone.
Am I bad person for thinking all of that ? (Please be honest I don’t want to fucking comforted uselessly, I just want to understand this mess)