I (f36) have been hooking up with my coworker (m52). I don’t fully know where his head is.
This guy has sought me out at work and while I was naive and thought he just wanted to grab a drink, it escalated the first time we went out and we made out.
Flash forward, we have hooked up a couple times a month now (since October ‘25). He has brought me up to one of his houses a couple times which is about two hours away from the city we both live in. We have spent full weekends up there together.
He doesn’t really make that much time for me during the week and it always is on his time.
We are keeping it quiet and promised not to say anything to anyone at work because is not appropriate. The issue is that we have major tension and he says he doesn’t want it go further because of work. He is always the one reaching out, giving me glances at work, and begging to see me last minute.
I have been backing off because I also don’t think this is a good idea because I am starting to get feelings. He has said he doesn’t want to get too close for the same reason, but he keeps perusing.
We have good physical chemistry and enjoy hanging out. Is he just keeping me as a back up or might he actually be honest when he says he doesn’t want to it go further because we work together?
Please give it to me straight friends on Reddit. I don’t think I’m thinking about this too logically.