My(26F) 26M partner goes back to his hometown every chance he gets and I dont like it, am i being extra?
My partner(26m) and i (26f) have been together for a year and like four months, and everything has been perfect except for the distance(semi). He lives an hour away, and his hometown is 2.5 hours away, give or take. My love language is quality time, and we see each other about 1-3 times a week because he lives so far and less even when he goes back to his name town, which is every second weekend . All his friends, most of his family and dogs still live there, and before me, I guess he only stayed in out town of residence for work purposes. A week ago he took leave for a week and went there came back for a week and a weekend and then went back again the next weekend. I understand that its a quiet town and he needs some time to get away from the city and that most of the people he cares about lives there but I feel like he can make more of an effort to be more on this side since we are planning to build a life together and I would like for him to not be gone every second weeken cause it limits how much we can see each other especially cause when he goes there we see each other after work in the week when we're both tired and he has to drive an hour to mine and back. I would like for our lives to integrate more but it still feels like he lives in two places at once, especially cause its routinely, plus 6 he gets the chance like public holidays and leave days. We've spoke about him rather going the third weekend every once in a while or just going for a day and coming back but evertime we talk about he'll do that for a month or two and go back to his usual routine. Idk I just miss him when he's gone and dont understand why as a grown man, he goes back so frequently. Also suspect that to some degree its cause his parents still baby him when he's there like cook and do washing and stuff so it feels like a break from real life which I understand but I would like the life we're building together to take precedent. And i feel we'd have to much more time if he'd compromise it to a certain degree.
(Ps. I have a daughter, so dont want to impose by going with all the time and wouldn't want to do that and were also planning on moving in together very soon)