My husband is slowly turning into a workaholic because he can't seem to decline any question, any request for help, or any project to take on. even though he's already swamped with shit to do from 5 other people. HE JUST CAN'T SAY NO TO ANYONE AT WORK. At 9pm he'll still be working. and it's making him miserable and exhausted. but he still won't do anything different. I get the pressure of being a computer software engineer in this AI day and age, but he is literally the only one on his team that is online and working past dinnertime.
I'll ask when he will finish, and I get:
"Soon." no actual amount of time given.
"I just need to do one more thing." which turns into several more things.
"I want to get this done for tomorrow." but he doesn't NEED to do it this late.
he's permanently WFH, so it's not like I never see him or anything... but lately it feels like he's just barely present on the weekdays. always checking slack on his phone, always bringing his laptop around... it's really starting to frustrate me. I always remind him that no one else on his team is online and that his teammates have families too. but it just doesn't get through to him. We don't have any immediate need for money, no debt, no dependants, and no reason to be working this hard. there's just some sort of pressure he's made up in his head to succeed. I've met his boss, I've seen his chats with his team through slack and texts- they're all chill and get along great. my husband is literally just doing all this to himself because he doesn't want to say "sorry, no, I can't."
I guess all this to say that I just miss him. I miss being with *him*- not him *and his laptop.* we still have dinner together, talk with each other throughout the day, and there's absolutely no love lost... he's not a robot. it just sucks that he's constantly prioritizing his work this much. every weekend, holiday, PTO with him is a blast and we spend a lot of time together... but then Monday rolls around and it's rinse and repeat. idk, I don't feel like I am being unreasonable with wanting to spend time with him AFTER work? whenever the hell that is for him at this point.
the most frustrating part? he took this job because it had a better work/life balance than his last one. what fucking ever.
EDIT: to the pathetic shit idiot fucking fool that commented "get a job," we both work full time and we over 200k combined, annually. nowhere in my post did I say I didn't have a job, dumbass. checks out though, considering your comment history. you seem like a miserable person.