u/LazyConversation3892

I have been doing the gateway tapes for a couple months now. It started with a deep pull that came out of needing answers from the grief of losing my dad. I have had this huge need to connect with him. Ive called myself an atheist, but In have had this feeling that atheism wasn’t the correct way to define what I was feeling. I have felt like a fraud saying “spiritual”, but I have always felt that I align with energy and the idea of energy and consciousness. I stumbled upon the original tapes and I was hooked. I have been feeling a sense of peace I didn’t know existed. If you have ever done the tapes, you can probably understand the peace. Anyway, I went ahead and got the Expand app and have been working on different meditations. I started the Connecting with Spirit multi-day program and just finished day 2. As I was sitting my own soul and asking to connect with my dad, I felt my dad there. I can’t really explain it, but it was like I felt this huge sense of love around me. Random memories of when we were together started popping into my head and I felt my entire body vibrating. Unfortunately, it all switched so quickly and I felt my mother in law talking to me. She just kept saying “help” and I was getting images of water and boats. (Background, my MIL died a few years ago and we think she was killed by her boyfriend. She was an absolutely horrible person who abused my husband and we cut contact with her over 9 years ago). I just kept yelling for my dad but she wouldn’t leave. Thankfully, I was brought back to waking consciousness, but I can’t help but feel really bummed that even in death she found a way to ruin the joy I was experiencing. Has anyone else felt something similar?