Hey guys, it’s been a very hard and heavy day and I just want to get some advice and talk out my feelings.
My mom died when I was 16. I’m 18 now, and it’s been so hard because she was such a great person and such a great mom, and I miss her so, so, so much. I’ve been so sad and depressed for months, and I overthink so much, which makes it worse.
Mom, if you can hear me, I’m sorry. I feel like I failed you. I thought you would be okay.
My mom was someone who was ride or die. No matter what you did to her or how you treated her, she would always come back and help you out. She was so friendly and such a good person. But now that she’s gone, life doesn’t feel the same, and I don’t want to stay.
My mom’s family her mom and her siblings were terrible to her. They would use her when they needed her and treat her so badly, talk behind her back. My grandma really took a toll on my mom’s life. My mom had to take care of her because none of her sons could live with her, and my mom did it all by herself. My grandma would fight with her and not listen to her.
The day my mom died, my grandma told her, “My head hurts,” and it was because she didn’t take her blood pressure pill… and my mom died of a brain aneurysm. I still remember my last words to my mom were, “Good night, Mom. Love you.” And that was it.
Mom, after you left, your mom and siblings do check in, but I hate them. They try lecturing me, but if they had helped you or treated you better, maybe you could have taken care of yourself. Maybe we could have had more time together.
Mom, I wish I could have told you to take your pill the night before, or in the weeks before. Maybe you’d still be here.
Mom, I cried today because it hurts so much, and I feel so alone.
Mom, I’m sorry for what’s happening down here. I’m sorry for being lustful as a teenager. I’m sorry for speaking badly about myself. Mom, I’m sorry.
I want to see you again so bad, but I don’t want to leave people behind. But Mom, please just come back. I’m scared. I love you so much.
Mom, I’m trying my best to take care of your mom. When she broke her leg again, I stayed for days at the hospital. But I’m just so tired. I want you again.
To anyone reading thisif you’re mad at your mom, it’s not worth it. I loved my mom, and I would do anything just to see her again. Please… I’m crying, I miss her so much. I wish I could have told her to take her medicine, or to take a break, or said yes when she asked me to go on a walk instead of being scared of people seeing me.
I’m sorry, Mom. I wish I’m your son in every life, because I want you so bad.
Love you always. I can’t wait to see you one day. I just wish it didn’t feel so far away.