I (23M) am in love with a family friend (19F).
For context, I’m from Pakistan, where marriage, especially for women, is taken very seriously. My parents had a toxic and abusive marriage. My father didn’t work and stole money from us, so my mother and I became the main earners. Recently, my parents divorced, and now my mom, my three sisters (21, 19, 17), and I live in a small 2-bedroom apartment in a rough area.
“D” is very close to my family, especially my 19-year-old sister. I’ve known her since childhood. Her family is kind and wealthy, and she is used to a comfortable lifestyle. She has had a crush on me for years, and over time, I developed feelings for her too.
A few months ago, her parents formally brought a marriage proposal to my family, a rishta. The next day, I took D out and told her we could not be together. I said my family situation is not something she should marry into. She told me she loves me and is willing to sacrifice, but I insisted I did not want her to end up unhappy because of me.
Since then, my sister got married, my parents divorced, and our living situation is no better.
At my sister’s wedding, a relative’s nephew saw D and became interested in her. When my aunt asked about D, I encouraged her to pursue a proposal for him and spoke highly of her.
My mom thinks I am making a mistake. She knows I love D and believes we should be together since D and her family already accept me.
But I feel like I would be a terrible choice for her. She comes from wealth and comfort, while I am struggling to support my family. Our home is small, and even basic utilities are unreliable. I believe she would eventually resent the life she would have with me. I still have years ahead before I can build stability, and I do not think it is fair to make her wait.
I love her deeply, and the thought of losing her breaks me. I cry about it often. If my circumstances were different, I would choose her without hesitation, but as things are, I feel letting her go is the kinder choice
So, AITA for rejecting D even though I am in love with her?
UPDATE: I have read all the comments and am planning on talking to D tomorrow. I will update on how it goes