After a guy suggests a date, how long do you give them to plan before you free up your night for other things?
34F. Matched with a guy on an app and last Friday he asked me out for this Friday. I said yes.
We’ve chatted daily since then, but he still hasn’t suggested a time, place, or actual plan for the date.
I’m busy, jaded, and protective of my free time (I work full-time time during the day, am in a PhD program part time, and spend a lot of time training working dogs), and I’ve since been offered something else Friday evening (a chance to train with one of my favorite trainers) that I’d rather do than sit around waiting. And I need to firm it up sooner than later.
So my question is: how long do you wait for someone to actually make a plan before assuming they aren’t that serious or decisive?
I also generally dislike when men ask for dates a full week out and then just…leave it vague. Is this the norm now?
Part of me thinks I should just bail and take the training slot. The other part wonders if I’m being too rigid. Saturday night I'm going to a concert (and yes I have an extra ticket--but I really have come to resent being Julie the Cruise Director so I don't want to invite a guy and let him not plan and get rewarded for it), and Sunday is my friend's birthday cookout. Next week I'm gone for a few days.
What do I do?
***UPDATE***: I sent him this, this morning: “Hey! It seems like Friday somehow never evolved into a plan and my schedule shifted a bit. I’m down to do something another time though. I’m actually free after run club tonight if you want to meet up and grab a beer or something.”
His response was to unmatch me without a word!!!!!