I feel trapped...
I don't know if my parents are genuinely toxic so this might not be the right place for me, sorry if not. But I'm just so tired and feel trapped at 23.
I had a hard past where I went through a lot of mental health struggles and struggles with being bullied in school that led to me dropping out before finishing. I went to a college course when I was like 17-19 to try get more qualifications and set up with a job but had issues there and they couldn't find me a job so I "graduated" with no real options at 20. My parents said I could stay as long as I helped out with chores and everything and I agreed.
3 years later and I'm just so tired of how I'm treated and my little independence. They don't let me do anything or own anything. I begged for two years now to at least try find a job but they insisted nowhere would ever hire me and even going out into the actual world would be something I can't handle (i went to a con a few years ago and had a panic attack and they've forever used thar as the "proof" I can't go out places anymore). They did offer to pay me for doing chores which I agreed to but they keep finding excuses now why they can't do that/i don't deserve it. I own next to nothing except the basics and a single android tablet (that I'm typing this from) that barely works. I get fed maybe once or twice a day because they insist I can't cook myself and I can't have snacks that are for the rest of the house. Anytime an event comes up I want to go to I beg abd they say no. They've isolated me from the entire world, I have no real life friends or family to turn to that would help or take me in.
I don't entirely blame my parents I know some of this is my fault for not finishing school or putting in more effort in the course I did. At the time I was in a very dark place and truly all I wanted to do was stay in my room all day everyday. I've gotten better mentally now and now there's so much more I want to do with my life but now I'm stuck here probably forever. I'd be the happiest person ever if they even let me go to comic con in a couple months but I know they likely won't. I've also been having issues with my teeth (chips from grinding) that I'm concerned about but they won't take me to a dentist because its embarrassing for them and they warned me (because during my dark period I didn't brush my teeth for a few years)
I don't know what to do. I don't want to call anyone or anything either because I have a lot of little siblings who get treated perfectly fine and I don't think I'm being abused even. Just an incompetent adult that has to live with the consequences of her decisions. I just wish things were even a little different. A new tablet, one outing a year and maybe a small allowance would be more than enough to make me the happiest person ever right now. Or even one of those things. Or even getting my teeth looked at to ease my anxiety. I know it's my fault that I'm miserable and stuck here and not entirely on my parents but I do feel like they don't listen to me and do treat me a little unfairly...