Why i made this account
I couldn’t bring myself to write a traditional suicide note so i’m making this throwaway account to talk about how i feel in my final days
I feel like i have so much to say yet not enough words
I really don’t want any advice
I’m a very smart person (i would like to believe at least)
But i think my time really has come
I know i’m gonna get the same lectures of it gets better or you’re stronger than this and blah blah
But i genuinely do believe that in my situation this is the only way ill ever be truly free
I don’t even want to be happy i just wanna be in complete bliss
The world as good as it can be can also be dark and i want to exit on my own terms
I’m not posting publicly to get advice or anything just to tell my friends that i love them so much and i am genuinely so sorry for any pain this may cause
I never want to hurt them
I have been doing a really good job at masking my feelings in-front of them so no one worries
I try my best to remind them everyday that i love them and to take care of themselves
I’ve held back so so much for so long solely to not hurt them because they’re such good people with promising lives and careers and i couldn’t be proud of them
If you’re reading this please know that my only wish is for you to keep going with your life to be happy to make the most out of everyday
Even when it gets hard remember that’s what i would’ve wanted
I love you guys so much
I will be updating this post frequently until i’m gone but for now just know that this is what i have always wanted this isn’t new lol i think everyone knows that by now but this time ill make sure i won’t fail
I don’t have a strict timeline yet and i have a few things i wanna do before but as of now I’m planning to be gone by june? We’ll see
So in the meantime i have been wanting travel somewhere and commit there so that no one close to me at least has to deal with it
I feel like this is me just rambling but that explains why i didn’t wanna write something traditional i kinda want it to be a series of posts and Reddit feels like the safest place to post this kind of thing
I’m gonna book my ticket in the next few days and create a little itinerary for myself
Then on my last day I’m thinking of dropping acid and going from there on
I’m having a bit of anxiety about traveling since it’s my first time ever and I’m going to completely alone but besides that I’m actually excited
Ill answer any questions but please i don’t want any advice or anyone trying to change my mind cause it’s already set and i hope and pray that this doesn’t hold anyone back
I’m truly sorry 💜