Been with my girlfriend [31F] for about a year now. The past few weeks have just felt off and I can't shake it.
Some context.
She doesn't make plans with me and she doesn't want a set day we see each other. When I brought it up she basically said I'm not a priority for her time. She said I'm on the same level as friends and some family. Which kinda hurt.
We haven't been close in a while. Not physically, not emotionally. Conversations are fine but they're shallow compared to how things used to be.
Every time I try to talk about how I'm feeling or say I feel left out of her life, it gets turned back on me. She says i'm overreacting and being dramatic because "you know how i am". She values her autonomy and I respect that, I've given her all the space she's been asking for. But after a year together I think some compromise should be possible and a step towards my needs, is logical. She's made it clear I'm not privy to her time or where she is. I'm not trying to track her every move, I just thought that kind of basic openness was normal in a relationship. If she's out alone until 3AM I'll text to check she got home safe. She calls that controlling. But to me it's just basic care.
Then she reposted photos from a day out. All of them normal and casual, except one. It was group photo where she's bent over with her arms around one guy's neck (but like really close) while everyone else is just standing there normally. That contrast is hard to ignore given everything else going on.
I haven't pushed it because every conversation about this ends the same way, with me feeling like the problem.
At this point I'm genuinely asking myself if I'm just being over-emotional, or if the distance has been building long enough that I'm finally noticing what it possibly means.
TL;DR: Girlfriend says I'm not a priority, puts me on the same level as friends, shuts down every time I raise concerns, and I'm not privy to her time or whereabouts. I respect her independence but feel like compromise should exist in a relationship. One photo from a day out, where she's physically draped over another guy while everyone else stands apart, has brought all of this to a head.
How to i go about this?
*small edit, the first 7/8 months went great. We were BF/GF, and we also had spoken about it and we were in a "committed relationship".