I’m tired and no one knows I’m ideating again
Im gonna confess something no one really knows about how I really feel about myself and life. I am depressed and generally unhappy with life. I don’t have friends because I assume my personality no one is really drawn to wanting to be with me. I feel like it’s almost a punishment that I was born. I wish I didn’t exist or if I could just lay in bed and not think about anything. I’m on meds but those don’t fix loneliness so I fill my brain with shows about families and friends ( I know how pathetic) or podcasts so my brain can’t think. I would never hurt myself and I’m safe but hate every part of me. I truly just wish I was never born or didn’t exist. But I wish I could still see and be there for my family. They don’t really reach out but I love them. But I’m just tired and exhausted. I’m tired of not being enough because I’m me. So here I am on Reddit craving human connection because irl no one is there it’s just me.