I’m seeking insight into my husband’s pattern of behavior and if I should be concerned. For the last 10-15 years my husband keeps his phone browser on Private/Incognito. I’ve asked why over the years and have been given varying responses that basically boil down to he just wants it that way. I accepted this and moved on until recently.
He is very guarded with his phone - it is never not on his person. It is never left on the counter or anywhere, only in his pocket. He does work fully remote and uses his phone heavily for work so some of that makes sense but nothing changes on the weekends. We do have each other’s passwords but it’s not like I ever could look at his phone unless I did in the middle of the night or something which I never have.
About 6 months ago I asked about all this and basically said the private browser needs to go and what is he so worried about. He agreed and took private browser off default. He is still extremely guarded of his phone and it is never left out ever. I once again asked about this and point blank asked to see his phone. He gave it to me for all of 5 minutes and all I noticed was the Telegram app had been downloaded but wasn’t logged in. I don’t know much about this app except it is associated with automatic messages deleting and other things, so another thing for secrecy. I asked why he had downloaded that and he said he didn’t know what it was, never has used it but then maybe he used it for work. I asked for proof it was used for work and he doesn’t have any and says he doesn’t have a log in. But why would he have it downloaded in that case?
Overall, he tends to call me paranoid and usually responds pretty defensively but also I’ve never found anything concrete indicating wrong doing. Am I paranoid? Do people default to private browser? Is the Telegram app commonly used in corporate settings? Why wouldn’t he be able to log in then if it’s used for work?
I am going to speak with a therapist as I can’t really accept his answers or lack of explanations and do feel paranoid. I have no reason to believe he’s doing anything suspicious except for how suspicious he behaves with his phone. Is this normal?