So This relationship is my first ever relationship, and I probably emotionally invested way too much and got really hurt over it. the thing is it’s a talking stage can’t even count it as a relationship but we acted like we were bf gf. it was like 4-6months on and off, very intense at the start and we constantly tried to breakup with each other cause we both knew it wasn’t gonna work, but I was willing to try. I guess i’m just really hurt cause i really gave this guy all my love energy effort and care and He still had the audacity to treat me like that. Everytime i tried to move on he would break no contact and come back, then he blocked me a week before my birthday, tbf i understand that because he doesn’t think birthdays are special anywyas but he comes back on valentines day and in this entire 1 month period where he blocked me i texted him every. single. day. so I was really mad that he came back on vday just to get my attention and i got mad and he lied to me i didn’t know this earlier but he lied to me about this other girl he used to talk to having his number still(he’s never given his number to me) and he told me I have issues such as overthinking, insecurities, jealousy issues and then told me he didnt want to go to a religious event because he “may mix“ with other women at that event. For the rest of february I was utterly depressed and broken, i couldnt believe he said that i cried every day and night to me that was emotional cheating and i he was so careless with my heart. Then later he comes back again after I texted him wanting an answer and he told me “i only make disrespectful jokes hoping you wont like me anymore but you keep sticking“ and then I took him back after all that again. and hes broke, he’s going through a career change, and hes currently going through surgeries so his health is at an all time low. He also At the start of our relationship he told me he was struggling with taking his meds that he needs to take twice a day and he hadn’t taken them in a long time so I would check up on his meds everyday and I even wrote him paragraphs upon paragraphs upon parageaphs trying to give him support and you know i’m the kind of person whos very like straight forward and direct so If he ever made bad decisions i always told him which i thought might be masculine I even researched ways to talk to him in a feminine manner so he’d feel more motivated and stuff and he still just ghosted me :(. In our last convo he told me when i wrote him paragraphs telling him That i support him i believed in him praying for his surgeries and career to go well and i told him how hurt i was for the way he treated me oh and also he told me in a 6 minute voicemail breaking up said “you deserve better we didn’t have any bonding moments anyways and we just used each other for attention and validation and that we didn’t have shared humour“. And for me this was cowardly cause why can’t he just be better?? not like im asking him to be a millionaire?? Anyways in our last break up convo he told me “yeah i could’ve been better put more effort in but as the saying goes if he wanted to he would and i didnt“. 💔💔💔And One mistake i made was in the end he was really insecure of my frined who’s a guy, who reallly helps me with school stuff and i never acted on it but i did end up comparing my ex to my friend and i told my ex that “my friend treats mr better makes me feel happy and at peace and you just give me anxiety and make me insecure“ and to that my ex got really offended which i feel bad for but honestly i didn’t lie. I just told him that cause i wanted him to change and be better to do better and he ended it with calling me annoying, a karen, too emotional and a baby. Pls tell me where i went wrong?!😭😭😭😭
TLDR : I (20F) just ended my first "relationship"a 6-month intense talking stage with a 24Mguy who was broke, facing major surgeries, and a career change. I played nurse, therapist, and cheerleader (reminding him to take meds, sending daily support paragraphs while blocked, researching how to speak to him "femininely").He blocked me before my birthday, lied about other girls, and made "disrespectful jokes" specifically to make me stop liking him. When I finally compared his chaotic energy to the peace I feel with a platonic male friend, he lost it calling me a "Karen," "annoying," and "too emotional. In his final breakup voicemail, he said we had "no bonding moments" and were just using each other for validation. His parting words: "If I wanted to I would, and I didn't."