AIO for the way im responding to my mother’s crash out?
For context, I’m only 17f. My mom’s 40. She moved out of state to a whole new place with my two younger sisters (both under 13) away from everyone, practically on a whim. She’s been struggling with her situation and doesn’t yet have a stable source of income or a stable place to live. Which isn’t completely her fault as the person who she thought to be trustable and could live with until she got on her feet went crazy and kicked her out. It’s only been a few weeks since she moved.
This is all relevant because for the last week, she’s been arguing over the phone with me and my brother (15y/o) about how we aren’t communicating well enough with her. I’ve tried to explain that it’s difficult, and long distance relationships are hard, but it doesn’t matter to her. I just don’t see how she can’t understand that she practically did this to herself. I don’t know what she thought was gonna happen when she moved but obviously we’re not gonna be able to have 10/10 amazing communication. And what also confuses me is the fact I have been calling her almost every day since she moved. Or at least I call my sisters. Or send my mom a text and talk through messages. But still it doesn’t matter i guess.
So on Saturday, I called my mom that morning and told her I had plans that night to go to a party with my friend. She got upset that I hadn’t told her about my plans, days in advance. That I should’ve let her know when I was first informed about the party. I apologized.. whatever. I told her I’d text her before I left to the party. Then unfortunately, I forgot because I had so many things to do (grocery shopping, packing car, dealing with my dog, helping my friends family, etc) so I was just excited to finally get on the road. I texted her when I got to the party and apologized. But it didn’t matter. She was still upset and so I just left it at that.
Then, Sunday morning, I saw the text she left Saturday night, which was sent to a group chat with me, my brother, and her. (My brother had his girlfriend over at the house Saturday night.) Which honestly just upset me because why are you assuming things before the day even comes. I’ve known it’s Mother’s Day for the last month. I was planning on calling her. But that text just irritated me and her responses to my reaction to it also upset me. So I never called her. Which is definitely on me, and I definitely should’ve called her either way, despite the hostile texts.
Then, tonight, (Sunday, Mother’s Day) around 7pm she sent the texts in the last four screenshot.
To be fair, there is a lot of context missing. My mom has always been like this. She’s probably been drinking, I don’t know. I apologize on her behalf for all the typos, she uses speech to text. I just want to know if I’m over reacting in how I responded to her texts. Am I being an ungrateful teenager? Should I not be talking to my mother this way? Idk. It’s kinda hard to answer those questions tho when you don’t know the dynamic we’ve had since I was 6 years old. I’ve always had to deal with her emotional bullsh*t. It’s always about her and nobody else. I just don’t get it. My relationship with my mother the last few months has really been taking a toll on my mental health.