Im terrified that I wont be able to survive in the real world
I was recently enrolled in public school at the start of this school year after being homeschooled for 11 years prior.
I put homeschooled in quotation marks because, truth be told, I wasnt actually taught anything. I spent 11 years locked in my bedroom staring at my phone. I learnt how to read and write from talking to strangers online.
My mom never made an effort to socialise me with children my own age, or teach me anything that I'd need for the real world.
She never disciplined me, or even really talked to me, she just let me do whatever I wanted so long as I wasnt bothering her.
I would like to believe that im as socially adjusted as I possibly could be considering the extreme circumstances I grew up in, but transitioning into public school after 11 years of no social interaction/no structure was absolute torture.
Not only was I academically behind, but I was socially stunted, too. I had to be put in the 'special' math class because I was so behind on content.
I failed one of my classes, and barely passed the rest of them. I feel so lost & afraid about what my future holds. I know that university isnt a possibility for me, but whenever I talk to my guidance counseller & ask her to switch me into easier subjects/discuss the idea of pursuing a trade apprenticeship instead of the traditional university pathway she shuts me down and begins talking about university pathways once again.
It feels like the rest of the world knows something that I dont, and i fear its too late for me to develop into anything even resembling a normal, functioning person. I have no support, not even from my family. Im completely alone 99% of the time and its suffocating.
I mourn the childhood that I never had, and I mourn the future im not going to have because of my parents neglect. I dont understand why life is so unfair.