I student (21F) am in my first relationship with another (21F), it’s been going really well! I even came out to my parents for her. We talk every day, but there are some cracks I’ve been noticing. For starters: I’m a college and I graduate next year, I also have my license. Since knowing my gf, she has dreams to go into the medical field but has yet to finish her (almost done) self paced classes and has no license. We live almost 2 hours away when I’m on campus, and 3 when I go home. This complicates things because not only do I take a lot of stem classes, but i also work an on campus job, so when she visits, i have to always go get her. She has trauma from a car accident, but i feel like at one point, you have the get over it bc we dont live in walkable areas. 2) she virtually has no savings, but is soon to move into an apartment. She makes enough to afford rent, but i worry she wont have enough for much else due to poor saving habits. I make way less than her bc i work on campus, but my savings are still much more than her. She asks me how to save, i tell her, she still makes purchases she doesn’t need. 3) she says she doesn’t know if she wants kids, I’ve made it clear I don’t. She constantly sends me baby stuff and is like “oh but I’m unsure”, but it doesn’t feel like it??? It feels like she really wants kids, especially with her having a lot of siblings, but I never desired kids. That’s for my own personal reasons, but just know I’m team #richauntie.
I guess my point is I’m not feeling secure or confident in our relationship. I would like someone who has a plan and actually takes steps to execute it. I feel like she’s not moving, and that’s all I’ve ever done. I find myself often late at night thinking if we can have a future together even though we’re only 6 months in.
I really want things to work out, this being my first relationship and all, but I’m not even sure if we’re in love yet. I’ve seen the women in my family settle, or have partners that cause everyone to secretly whisper about saying she’s too good for him. I just can’t in good faith allow that to happen to me and I wish to prevent it if I can.
🙏please don’t be too mean to me guys, I’m desperate for advice and none of my friends have been in relationships before either