I’m a UK girl who has never dated nor spoken to a man talking stage wise, have no male friends at all and just an overall male free life because I block men who are weird on the first opening message . I aim to remain like this until I look for a husband but sometimes i get kind of sad when I see Somali guys at my university, for example, and they do not acknowledge my presence at a predominantly white uni.
My mum is from a generation that no matter your appearance men and woman acknowledge one another in western countries and built a network and this isn’t scrutinised. For example I need career advice my mum would call so and so. Sometimes it hurts me because I’d love to just get to know my community, women and men alike, and maybe naturally find someone like other communities.
Sometimes the thought creeps in and honestly settles that Somali men my age simply don’t find me attractive and I’ll have to beg my mum to find me a husband because of my anxiety about men.
I’m 21, 5’10 and third year uni and I obviously have time of course, therefore this worry is for the future since I’d love to get married at 24ish with no wedding. However , I’ve built this idea that I want a man from a top UK uni, aiming for a secure job but I don’t even know how to find a man period.
I’ve always joked about being open to approaching likeminded guys who fit this idea first, like texting a soon to be medic and simply being direct and ask him if he would ever consider marriage in the near future. Every time I say this people get weirded out or tell me I’ll be chasing which has lead me to NEVER ever do it. I also have the issue where I’m rlly particular and rlly want a guy who is better than me, e.g. smarter than me even by a little, but I hate the idea of flirting online and honestly just want to meet naturally face to face or just straight date.
I have a cute public instagram, I post nice stories time to time and highlights but my followers are entirely all woman, only have woman in my inner and outer circle. And I’m approaching that age where things naturally settle in like work, uni and routine and I obviously start to think about relationships for the first time. Guys am I ac doomed.
Disclaimer pls don’t be mean or call me male centred because I’m quite literally the opposite. I’m really pessimistic about dating and marriage and I just wanted to know if there was someone like me who ended up finding someone. Also please do not hit me up men, this is not a now issue - feel very free to comment a male perspective but do not shukaansi in DMs.