Started EMDR a few months ago and what a rollercoaster 🎢
Hi all,
I have a long history of trauma and addiction and have been diagnosed with cpstd. Ive been in therapy most of my life, but just recently started EMDR after hearing from others how helpful it has been for cpstd. The first few weeks were amazing. I felt lighter, more joyful, and even found myself dancing or moving differently...as if channels in my brain had been cleared out...
And then I had a session where I connected with the weight and severity of my sexual trauma with men for maybe the first time ever (hello dissociation) and it hit me like a freight train. The next day I woke up feeling like I had the worst hangover ever with a pounding headache. It was all super intense. Since then (it's been about a month)I have found myself feeling super blah. Like I've lost my passion or drive. An overall sense of depression or malaise. I know there's this part of me that's trying to process and grieve a massive part of me while another part desperately tries to cling to the familiar (which isn't necessarily healthy) but I feel so defeated.
Has anyone else out there experienced a lot of darkness before the light in this process?